Haven't thought about here in forever, life is...well good, bad, hard, easy. I met a girl through online dating, fell in love, got engaged, was together for 4.5 years. Then I realized I was transgender, tried so hard to deny it, find a reason to not be. And with that, my life changed from where I thought it was going to be. That was the final straw that ended our romantic relationship. We are friends still but it still hurts. Found a camera with old pictures, had to put it down. It sucks, my main job has transphobic owners, my family, my parents can't see me as female, can't get pronouns right, don't like the name I've chosen, it's just so hard. And i'm 33 going on 34 now. I'm a fully grown adult and yet I feel like a teenager still. Where is youth? Where does time go? Is this all I will have, work, eat, sleep, repeat till I am old and grey? Living in the home we once shared, to see the spaces we had together, and to be alone, it's hard. I dunno why I'm writing this, I dunno